


dot's poetry corner

by Kold



Category: No Fandom, Personal - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Poetry, personal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2018-07-19 04:26:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 8,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7344868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kold/pseuds/Kold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let Me Go

I won't touch you  
No, I won't make it real  
Maybe if I don't say I word  
It will all disappear  
No, don't touch me  
I can't believe  
I don't want to believe  
Well, it's been fun  
But now I want to go  
I want to go  
You know I'd follow you anywhere  
But the world won't let me go  
Let me go  
I can't take this  
No, there's salt in my soul  
My mind's charcoal  
World, let me go  
Take me out and throw me up  
Then I'll be part of the sky  
Then I'll cry, then I'll chime  
Then I'll lie, then I'll die  
Then, everything I was looking for  
Will again be mine  
it's been so fun  
But now I want to go  
World, I hate you  
So let me go right now


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Apathy (I Don't Love At All)"

I don't love London   
I don't love France   
Even though I tried to  
I simply can't 

I don't love my mom  
I don't love my dad  
Now when you think about it  
That's a little sad

I don't love girls  
I don't love boys  
So when I get lonely  
I just play with my toys

I don't love the hole in the wall  
And there's knots in my hair  
But I won't fix them  
Because I don't think I care

I don't love health  
I don't love myself  
Thank you, you're kind  
But I don't love your help

I didn't love my heart  
I didn't love my empathy   
So I sold them  
For a new TV


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Eat Me"

Eat me   
Eat me  
They won't believe me  
It's okay  
Eat me  
Eat me  
I'm lonely  
Eat me  
Eat me  
This is the lowest  
I've ever been  
I hope this never happens again  
This is the lowest I've ever been  
Eat me  
Eat me  
I was already dirty  
It's okay  
Eat me  
Eat me  
Don't need to tie me up  
Just cut my legs  
Eat me  
Eat me  
This is the lowest  
I've ever been  
I hope this never happens again  
This is the lowest I've ever been  
Eat me  
Eat me  
It's okay  
While you're at it  
Sell me out  
And give me a disease  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
FUCK JUST   
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME  
EAT ME

I hope I'm your last meal


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mrs. Vibrator"

Come over  
The apartment's all yours  
I'll start by locking the door  
Let's play house, now that everyone's gone  
I want to be the mom

What do you want for dinner  
I'll make anything  
Fuck barefoot, I'll wear nothing  
Hold everything, they're playing our show  
I hope they never come home

Wonder how easy life would be  
Without worrying what I talk about  
In front of the tv  
They'll hear me, they'll find me  
Won't be ordering any kisses in the mail  
There's a lot of ways that could fail

It's official  
It's just me and the vibrator  
Happily married  
Who needs real love  
When there's fantasy  
People can't be everything  
People can't be everything 

Me and the vibrator  
Happily married  
Who needs love  
Just me and the vibrator  
Mrs. Vibrator  
Mrs. Vibrator  
I'm the lovely Mrs. Vibrator  
I hope they never come home


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Closeted"

No matter what's the time  
No matter what's the time of day  
This is always on my mind  
I'm watching you cut yourself  
Into a shape they like best  
You promised you wouldn't   
push away that girl away again  
But you do it all the time  
You keep pushing that girl away  
But I won't let you this time

So stay in your room  
I'll send food  
No one will ever find you  
So stay in your room  
If that's what you want to do

Reaching out and getting nothing  
Kinda want you to love me  
Reaching out and getting nothing  
Kinda want you to love me  
You're failing, not dying  
You're failing, not dying  
And the Devil's masturbating   
You're failing, start trying  
For the love of God, but stop lying

So stay in your room  
I'll send food  
No one will ever find you  
So stay in your room  
If that's what you want to do  
Stay in your room, she won't want a tool


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Armistice"

Fall out  
Take a flask and pour one out  
Shut your mouth until the operation goes down  
When does the operation go down?  
Get ready to shoot  
We're making a reboot  
Fall out  
Take a flash and pour one out  
Clean the gash or become a burn out  
We're going to   
Make sure they keep on the camera

Baby you can't beat  
Our vengeful armistice   
Baby, you were right  
To be suspicious   
Goodbye

Fall down  
Cork up the barrels so they don't make a sound  
Drop them off at the lost and found  
Take some sunglasses so they don't see the eyebags  
Now everybody get low  
We're going to win all the rewards at the reward shows  
Fall out  
Get down  
Baby, baby  
Get down, baby  
Was so suspicious   
Now we're annihilated  
Baby, you were right  
To be suspicious   
Oh boys now you found us  
Go ahead and crucify us  
that must mean you justify us  
If so, that means you love us  
Baby you can't beat  
Our vengeful armistice   
Baby,  
Goodbye


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Velocity"

If I want to play, I can  
This phase is all I have  
And it's fleeting, it's fleeting  
I've been running all my life  
But what was chasing me was inside  
Give me the crashes  
Just let me have this

Let me go through this phase  
Let me daydream  
This velocity   
Is gluttony   
This velocity  
Has saved me

I can race the pain  
though it's like a train  
I couldn't be stronger  
I'll just have to be faster  
I'll run until I burn down this street  
I don't even have to use my feet

Let me go through this phase  
Let me daydream  
This velocity   
Is gluttony   
This velocity  
Has saved me


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I Wish I Could've Protected You"

Let me be the first to ask  
How have you been  
Is your mind still in the land of sin  
Did we ever win  
Are you still blue  
I wish I could've protected you

Let me be the first to ask  
Is it too soon  
To say "you do you"  
Do you still think there's  
cheese on the moon  
Are they feeding you the right food  
I wish I could've protected you

Let me be the first to ask  
To do what they say  
Even though they never taught you  
Yet, they'll mock you for it to this day  
And lock you in your room  
I wish I could've protected you

Let me be the first to say  
I care and I'm here  
Ever though I can't fly over there  
Or answer your prayers  
Or answer why they're so bad to you  
I wish I could've protected you


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Black Dahlia"

Just when you were getting so good  
You could've have been so beautiful   
The body isn't even cold  
You weren't even old

Oh, my Dahlia  
Who did this to you  
Oh, Dahlia

Everyone's hanging on to  
two parts of you  
Everyone's already making a list  
How can you smile at a time like this  
Ignorance is bliss

Oh, my Dahlia  
Who did this to you  
Oh, Dahlia

Oh, Dahlia  
Was it a car  
Oh, Dahlia  
What was he wearing  
Oh, my Dahlia


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sad But True"

A long time ago,  
I loved everything  
I don't remember   
much before that  
I was such a nice   
little thing  
Unaware that Everything   
didn't love me back

I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing  
I've learned nothing


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Scumbag"

Why do you always sweep shit under the rug  
Why won't you let me take the drugs?  
Why won't you let me take the drugs?

Saw you break   
the handlebars

Do-do-dododod 

When you tried  
To run that by  
You must have thought I was blind

RIGHT?

Saw you break   
The handlebars

This is misery  
Now I have to hear that voice everyday  
Now I have to waste away  
take the high road  
and crashed my car  
Because of people like you

Do-do-dododod 

These things are needed  
Don't strap it to the couch  
I'm fucking angry  
Want to take it out  
You're going to wish  
You were never born  
For making me feel that before

Why do you always sweep shit under the rug  
Why won't you let me take the drugs?  
Why won't you let me take the drugs?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Suicide Note"

Noticed back then  
How things wore me down  
But here I am, at this point  
Now I'm holding your heart   
at gunpoint  
Though, I am so sorry   
So sorry and scared

How many times have  
I put up a sign  
And you walked by thinking  
Things were fine  
And all of that support  
Was all cut short  
They all want you to say it  
Until you do

You knew this was coming  
My oldest friend  
You tried your best  
Up until the very end  
Everyone's fading away  
But I'll still hold your hand  
I don't want to go  
Don't want to go  
Suicide note

Thought handling it on my own  
Made me smarter  
There was nothing I couldn't solve   
With more sleep  
But then I couldn't get out of bed  
And stopped seeing all my friends  
Never was able to find  
What I need

You knew this was coming  
My oldest friend  
You tried your best  
Up until the very end  
Everyone's fading away  
But I'll still hold your hand  
I don't want to go  
Don't want to go  
Suicide note


	13. "Weak and Selfish"

Sweating from all these layers  
To block another knife in my spine  
That would be fine  
It was all a haze  
False alarms everyday

Sweating from all these layers  
To block another knife in my spine  
That would be fine

Oh wait  
It was all a haze  
False alarms everyday

Betrayed for the hell of it  
I'm so weak and selfish  
Because of you  
Feel so weak and selfish  
Because of you

Suns out, fun's out  
Get it while you're hot  
When it runs out  
Hide before you burn out  
Because someone's going to be ready 

Betrayed for the hell of it  
I'm so weak and selfish  
Because of you  
Feel so weak and selfish  
Because of you

Hahaha


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Friendzone"

Dedaehthgil gnileef  
Dedaehthgil gnileef

Don't know where that dreaded  
boat is headed  
Feeling a little lightheaded  
No one knows even though   
I just said it  
Better enjoy your new home   
in the the friendzone  
Hey lady, get off of me  
Get off my back  
Get out from underneath me  
I won't let you come near  
Enjoy your new home   
in the the friendzone  
I bet it's wonderful

Now it's all ruined  
Over  
Forgot what love was  
The shame  
Don't want anyone to know my name  
Please don't kill me  
I'm here for a friend

Yeah, it's my fault   
the pride feels dirty  
But the prejudice is looking  
Awful flirty  
Don't shove the blame  
Get a girl on eBay  
But you still got that   
Chinese finger trap   
Pulling you back  
It's all my fault, all my fault  
Dug up my own graveyard lot  
Maybe if I leave   
But no one else ever is going to be  
Perfect for me  
Get out from underneath me  
Get off of me  
Get off my back  
Don't go near  
Don't go near  
Maybe he can help me out  
Maybe he can help 

Enjoy your new home  
In the friendzone   
Enjoy your new home in  
The ice cold friendzone  
Please don't kill me  
I'm here for a friend

Now it's all ruined  
Over  
Forgot what love was  
The shame  
Don't want anyone to know my name  
Please don't kill me  
I'm here for a friend  
Yeah


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Monster in the Closet"

Push it back  
Slam the door  
Push it back  
Slam the door  
Push it back  
Slam the door

It's just not  
What I remembered  
You used to be prettier  
It's just not  
What I remembered  
I never been this terrified 

Oh baby we're getting older  
And the closet just keeps getting smaller  
And my stomach keeps getting sicker  
And sicker and sicker and sicker

Push it back  
Slam the door  
Push it back  
Slam the door  
Push it back  
Slam the door

It's just not  
What I remembered  
Was a funny secret  
And now it's cancer  
Truth won't be the chemo   
It's not what I remembered  
You weren't made for me  
And I don't want to want you  
want to want you

Take her back Jesus  
I don't want it   
I've learned my lesson  
I don't want it   
Oh baby we're getting older  
And the closet just keeps getting smaller  
And my stomach keeps getting sicker  
And sicker and sicker and sicker


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hermaphrodite"

A camel going through  
The needle's eye  
You make me happy   
Everyone else can die  
How embarrassing   
Something's so embarrassing   
about all this  
What's the point of this  
I can't get anything out of this  
Wish I had replacements  
My own replacements

Because I can't change  
It's too late  
So what if I lied  
I lied to me too

Don't like how it feels  
Don't like how it looks  
But I want to be as straight as  
The people in the books  
Someday,  
I'll make mommy love me  
Wish I had redemption   
My own redemption

Because I can't change  
It's too late  
So what if I lied  
I lied to me too  
So what if I lied  
I lied to me too


	17. "Roommate Song"

You look like how I want to look  
You look like how I want to look

You sound like how I want to sound  
You sound like how I want to sound

I want it all gone soon  
I want it all gone soon  
I want this all gone soon

You feel like how I wish everyone feels  
You feel like how I wish everyone feels

You think like how I wish everyone thought  
You think like how I wish everyone thought

I want it all gone soon  
I want it all gone soon  
I want this all gone soon

Where'd you go  
Left me alone in an empty room  
Did you see the pictures  
Under the bed  
Please don't leave  
Let's try again

I don't look like how I want to look   
I don't sound like how I want to sound 

I want it all gone soon  
I want it all gone soon  
I want this all gone soon  
I want to win you soon   
I want to win you soon


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "In The Flesh"

Whatever made me happy  
Just because you know you can  
Take me out  
With just one laugh  
Don't care if it's in the script  
You just know all the shots to hit  
Please stay all night  
I'll sleep on the floor  
Even when it rains and pours

I see you in the flesh  
I don't need to pretend again  
And it was worth the wait  
I'll let you have your space  
just want to see the jaw of your face  
When it moves, I go ballistic 

Never stop talking  
Even when you don't do it a lot  
It's okay  
It doesn't matter what you do  
Even if it's not what I planned  
I'm the one whose putty in your hands   
Stay alive forever  
Find a way for me

I see you in the flesh  
I don't need to pretend again  
And it was worth the wait  
I'll let you have your space  
just want to see the jaw of your face  
When it moves, I go ballistic


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sexy When You Cry"

Thank you for the body   
Thank you for the blood  
It won't be soggy  
If I take you out in love  
Don't make me sad  
Put some of me in you  
It's sad how you think  
It's impossible for me to do

Red, white and blue  
Look what I did to you  
Red, white and blue  
Look what I did to you  
Red, white and blue  
And you can never sue

Thank you for the opportunity   
Thank you for the opportunity   
You're so sexy when you cry

Put some of that broth in me  
Give me the memory   
Tell your friends about me  
Want to mean something to you  
Don't make me sad  
It wasn't so bad  
It was the best I ever had

Red, white and blue  
Made an adult of you  
Red, white and blue  
Made an adult of you  
Red, white and blue  
And you can never sue

Thank you for the opportunity   
Thank you for the opportunity   
You're so sexy when you cry

Shame on you again   
For giving the chance  
And ran, ran, ran


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Snakes"

dil ki khamooshian, baat na kare  
Kare kare kare

Wrapped up  
And laughed at,  
'X' me down there  
I lost me again  
What now? What now?  
Jurassic  
Things happen  
Wrapping and wrapping  
Want me, get me  
Don't push it, my remedy  
So bitter, effective  
My medicine  
If only they can see you now  
How you go about  
If they don't like it  
That's too bad,  
That's just too bad  
Who needs those fucking snakes  
Wanna,  
Explain this?  
What happened  
It's wrapping  
What now? What now?

Don't trust me  
Never trust me  
Don't trust your heart   
It doesn't speak   
No need to explain what happened  
The mirror broke  
Now the shards are stuck in your eyes  
It happens all the time

dil ki khamooshian, baat na kare  
If only  
dil ki khamooshian, baat na kare   
If only they can see you now


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "As Far As You Know"

Singing with a bad cough  
Yet I'm still at the top  
Don't love anything that's not a TV  
Look at me, on the screen  
They masturbate to me

Yeah  
I worked like shit  
And I earned this  
Dug some many holes  
The tolls in the thousands

You all wonder what got me on a roll  
As far as you know  
Speculate what I do all day  
Like you'll ever know  
Got to keep them guessing  
As far as you know

You know how it goes  
Don't let them close  
Bitches do it solo  
Who needs promo  
When you're doing rolls  
Work it  
Work like shit  
Then you take that hit  
Only feels like it's worth it  
When you're stoned like a brick


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Angels"

I forgot to change my calendar  
Since you touched me  
Time is just part of the sky  
When I said goodbye  
To connections  
My Godsend   
I should have looked in the mirror   
And say it again

I won't let anyone feel me  
I want to exist as little as I can  
In another life  
I'd have a better plan

You know I'd kill to remember  
The memory better  
Want to relive seeing you   
For the first time all over again  
You don't know what you've got  
Until it's shot dead

I won't let anyone feel me  
I want to exist as little as I can  
In another life   
I'd have a better plan


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Intelligent"

The floors a-drum  
Where'd they all come from?  
See a Robber Baron hang   
Like a witch  
And I have the switch  
Not my niche   
But if you insist  
Now don't resist  
Did you consider a third option  
Darling Kitten  
If the light gets any brighter  
The worlds a-blitzing 

I suppose it's my duty  
When I break  
I'll take some things to the grave  
Shudder to think I'll never taste  
She's just like me, I'm amazed  
Got Beauty in spades

Choose your option  
I'm always winning  
Your wife and children  
Or my hand is slipping   
And I never have to imagine  
Your bliss in another

You won't regret this  
You're so intelligent 

Now Kitten  
Are you really frigid   
Or you're just acting?   
Just cause you're not smitten  
Doesn't mean you're not grinding  
The walls at night thinking   
You don't know what you're missing

You won't regret this  
You're so intelligent 

Stop gnawing on the exit  
It's over  
Handed your soul right over  
My little Kitten  
2nd Queen   
See what happens when you choose me

Now Kitten  
Are you really frigid   
Or you're just acting?   
Just cause you're not smitten  
Doesn't mean you're not grinding  
The walls at night thinking   
You don't know what you're missing


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ocean"

No more quitting  
The times have been countless  
Leaves are in the air  
Or is that just your hair  
I swear we'll make it work  
Fit that circle in a square 

That's it, I'm quitting  
I am quitting  
No one can fire me now

Stay asleep  
I'll try my best  
The ocean in us  
Is a mess

We are closing  
Like the gate around the school  
We used to go to  
Ever since then  
You've been such a fool  
That's it, I'm quitting  
I am quitting  
No one can fire me now

Stay asleep  
I'll try my best  
The ocean in us  
Is a mess

I won't quit  
Or give up  
But the change is too much

No more yelling  
I put my hands up

Stay asleep  
I'll try my best  
The ocean in us  
Is a mess


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Goodbye, Goodbye"

I can't protect you now  
You're beyond help  
Say love can change you, how?

One eye open  
Goodbye, goodbye   
Night never ended  
Goodbye

Hey  
The fingers in which you tread  
Won't ever mend  
Please use mine instead

I was broke but then found  
And you kept me around  
And I asked when  
Can you use me again

One eye open  
Goodbye, goodbye   
Night never ended  
Goodbye


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Dust"

I killed myself again  
To come back as someone else  
Let me keep what's left  
So I don't feel by myself  
Eat the sludge and cry  
The cold rainbow sky  
Feeling headstrong through the pain  
But I'm still the same

The walls will decay  
It'll all be dust one day  
Twenty years away  
But I'd still be the same

Tell me it's not too late  
Am I not up to date?  
Turns out I was not as great  
as they think  
There's no one else I love  
Since that first day  
Is that all? You can take it  
Is that all? You can take it  
Because I might not make it

I was a baby bird  
Caged with a snake  
I'd be a hawk one day  
And you'd be my prey  
The sadness coils tight  
Didn't think you'd catch up  
You've grown the most  
But I'm still so small

The walls will decay  
It'll all be dust one day  
The walls will be bust  
My hill of dust  
The gold will rust

Tell me it's not too late  
Am I not up to date?  
Turns out I was not as great  
as they think  
Is that all? You can take it  
Is that all? You can take it

...Because I might not make it


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "House of Guilt"

Will the eyes ever expell what was seen  
Will the eyes ever close  
Don't pity this shitty way I think  
It belongs to all  
Can I leave after being so dependent 

Can I beat it, and get right over  
When I've been screwed over

You couldn't be my help in all these lies  
This self hate's looking justified   
It doesn't amount to a hill of filth  
If only I wasn't locked up in this house of guilt

I hope you're happy, I'm always angry  
And I hate you  
Because of you I'm thrashing  
Bashing against the walls  
But they never seem to fall  
Can I sever the tie or die trying

Can I beat it, and get right over  
When I've been screwed over

You couldn't be my help in all these lies  
This self hate's looking justified   
It doesn't amount to a hill of filth  
If only I wasn't locked up in this house of guilt

You couldn't be my help in all these lies  
All you did was watch and sit still  
Now I'm stuck in the house of guilt  
My head is forever in the house of guilt


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ms. E"

Sitting in a tree  
K-I-S-S-I-N-G  
Only it wasn't a tree  
Ms. E  
It was in your car  
And we weren't sitting  
Were we?  
You had me laying  
And it wasn't just kissing  
Missy  
I felt you touch me  
Now I know why you rushed me  
Missy  
It wasn't 'cause you're busy  
It's because   
soon they'll know you're creepy  
And call the police on you  
And never release

Sitting in a tree  
K-I-S-S-I-N-G  
I don't want you to leave  
Ms. E  
Just say you're frisking me  
Missy  
For chalk in my undies  
I love you  
More than my own mother  
If you get fired, missy  
I won't stop crying

Just kidding...

K-I-S-S-I-N-G  
Shit, they found out the hard way  
Hope you feel guilty  
You dirty village degenerate   
But can she still kiss me?  
Please tell me she can   
K-I-S-S  
When will you come home  
I-N-G  
You gave me  
A bad case of Stockholm Syndrome   
K-I-S-S-I-N-G  
Can I have Ms. E on the phone?


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wax Wings"

I won't fall in, I won't fall in  
I won't fly too close to the sun  
Can't look but can't touch  
It would be nice to have some fun  
maybe I'll touch and run  
I need you but I don't want you  
You know how easy I bruise  
Might have touched the sun and ran  
But don't think I'll hold anyone's hand

I'm on wax wings  
Call it immaturity  
But you won't touch me  
Knowing perfectly it will kill me  
I sting them like a bee  
Nobody can try melting  
Off my wax wings

I won't fall in, I won't fall in  
Yes, giving up must be nice  
To finally close my eyes  
But I know that's when you'll try  
I won't sleep until you die  
Don't say that's what I need  
I know it is but it'll destroy me  
Like the sun, I cannot touch  
I'll never hold the hand of anyone

I'm on wax wings  
Call it immaturity  
But you won't touch me  
Knowing perfectly it will kill me  
I sting them like a bee

Nobody can try melting  
Off my wax wings  
I'm on wax wings


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Count To Twenty"

I like when you make me laugh  
I like when you make me "ahhhh..."

Pulling me towards your mouth  
About to come around  
Pulling me just by counting   
Free yet I am bound  
Feel that rainbow connection  
Lesson in letting go  
Got heat in your veins  
Put me in flames  
I'm so cold  
Now here's a lesson in letting go

Your tongue is pulling me  
Yet I'm free   
Would you move it in me  
Count to twenty   
Count to twenty  
Make me blow  
Like a flamethrower   
Love is in the air

Pulling me in towards your mouth  
Come and count  
Make me drool   
Through and through   
Chapstick chicks do it for you  
I'll come around  
And do it for you

Your tongue is pulling me  
Yet I'm free   
Would you move it in me  
Count to twenty   
Count to twenty  
Make me blow  
Like a flamethrower   
Love is in the air


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sorry"

Seems I lost it  
And lost it fast  
The shame stings so bad  
It's the only thing that lasts  
Fell from grace   
And onto my knees  
What more do you want from me  
Do you want me to bend and bleed

Okay, I'm sorry  
I'm nasty  
I'm sorry  
What's wrong with me  
I'm sorry

I was surrounded   
By the worst   
Made me feel like the best  
It wasn't by much, I guess  
Giving to charity  
Won't make you Mother Mary  
As long as I'm breathing in the breeze  
I won't ever stop apologizing 

I'm sorry  
I'm ugly  
I'm sorry  
I'm like this  
I'm sorry   
I said that   
I'm selfish  
I'm sorry  
But don't ask why  
I'm sorry


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sleeping With The Wolf"

Won't forget what you gave  
Won't forget what you took  
Yet you're still in my life  
Yeah, still in my life

I keep sleeping with the wolf  
And I can't sleep  
I keep sleeping with the wolf  
And I dreamed  
He will leave

Won't forget what you gave  
Won't forget what you took  
Yet you're still in my life  
Yeah, still in my life  
Still in my life  
Still in my life  
Still in my life   
Yeah still in my life

I keep sleeping with the wolf  
I keep drinking with the wolf  
I keep dancing with the wolf  
I keep sleeping with the wolf


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Knew It"

Don't waste your time  
Was that all you got?  
Tired of the pain  
But I'm addicted to  
the shock  
There's nothing you can do  
That I haven't done to me  
And there's nothing you can say  
That I haven't said to me

Knew you hate  
Knew you hated me  
Even though  
I haven't done anything  
Knew you hate  
Knew you hated  
me

Won't look me in the eyes  
Cause you're always on the phone  
Never with someone,  
you're usually alone  
When you do this  
I can't help but feel conned  
There's never anyone around  
To blame it on

Knew you hate  
Knew you hated me  
Even though  
I haven't done anything  
Knew you hate  
Knew you hated  
Knew you hate  
Knew you hated me  
Knew you hated  
me


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What's Up"

Hello  
I feel so silly  
But soon enough  
It'll be worth it  
Give it up for me  
Give it up for me  
What's up?  
I miss being sober  
But soon enough  
It'll be over  
And then, I'll feel much older  
And then,  
I'll feel much older  
And then I go,  
"What's up, what's up, what's up?"  
I'm so scared  
"What's up, what's up, what's up?"  
You're not there  
You haven't been there since—  
Crying over the pages  
Why couldn't I ever talk to you?  
My heart is useless again  
Because it's gone ever since—

Today's the day I will never see you again  
Soon enough I'll realize it  
And it'll hurt so much  
So what's up, what's up  
Just let me talk to you  
And today, today  
Is the last chance I'll get to

Everyday  
Things get harder  
So I just  
Leave it all incomplete  
But I can do it on my own  
All on  
Do it all on my own  
Hello  
You look so little  
Because life  
Has never been more simple  
"What's up, what's up, what's up?"  
I'm so scared  
"What's up, what's up, what's up?"  
You're not there  
You haven't been there since I—  
Into a world of you  
Don't forget, I'm in trouble too  
My heart is useless again  
Take it because I don't want it when...

Because today's the day I will never see you again  
Soon enough I'll realize it  
And it'll hurt so much  
So what's up,  
what's up  
Just let me talk to you  
And today, today  
Is the last chance I'll get to

Because today's the day  
I will never see you again


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Adults Don't Cry"

Love the game  
But hate all the player  
Too good for friends  
Too bad for love  
No, not crazy  
Just independent   
These tears are not real  
Though they feel  
Real to me  
They warm my cheeks  
So nicely

Don't make things worse  
They're bad enough  
Use your brain and give it up  
Life doesn't care if you're suffering  
Adults don't cry  
They just start cussing

Are you hearing?  
I've gone insane  
Got to get up on my own  
And suck up the pain   
Can't rust that   
Old killing machine  
Save those tears  
For when you're home  
And all alone  
In the corner, facing   
the other way

Don't make things worse  
They're bad enough  
Use your brain and give it up  
Life doesn't care if you're suffering  
Adults don't cry  
They just start cussing

I go home, I run home, but there's someone home  
I go home, I run home, I run home

Adults don't cry  
They just start cussing


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Retina"

It won't fly   
Ever again  
wont fly by me  
Wet butterfly  
Good job, my friend  
But this is the end  
I won't ever be on the  
Other end of you again

I think I should cut my heartstrings  
Think I should tie up my tubes  
Wipe your face off my retina   
Maybe I'll forget the abuse

Can you hear it  
I'm screaming  
No matter how lonely  
I get  
I'll never relapse

I think I should cut my heartstrings  
Think I should tie up my tubes  
Wipe your face off my retina   
Empty out my stomach too  
Clean these scars off my retina  
Maybe I'll forget you


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hardened"

Try to cut me but I don't bleed  
That's cause  
I am hardened   
Running from the bullets  
And I'm not scared   
That's cause  
I am hardened  
I get a little tired then and again  
But that's fine  
I am hardened   
You hit me and hurt your hand  
That's cause  
I am hardened   
Don't you try  
to stop me now  
You don't know how  
No, so don't you try  
You don't know how

I'm better than I was   
Before  
But you haven't got any smarter  
Than before  
Hurt me, I'm hardened   
Hurt me, I'm hardened   
Than before

Put another knot in the flag  
Go ahead  
I am hardened  
Arrows break in the air  
I'm too hardened  
That doesn't mean   
I don't cry here and there  
I'm still hardened  
Still too weak on the inside  
Oh well, at least I'm hardened  
Don't you try  
to stop me now  
You don't know how

I'm better than I was   
Before  
But you haven't got any smarter  
Than before  
Hurt me, I'm hardened   
Hurt me, I'm hardened   
Than before  
You hurt me bad, everyone hurt me bad  
I won't get sad because  
I'm too hardened  
Hurt me one more time  
Hurt me one more time


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Needle"

So you want a   
Simple and clean  
Path from you to me  
Take my hand  
When I say it  
You'll understand  
If you think you can do it  
If you want to go for it  
If you'd never blew it  
If you want to, go for it

I feel the sting  
The pricking of a needle  
I feel the sting  
The seeds are now settled  
Close your eyes  
Does it sound similar  
Close your eyes  
Does it sound similar 

Here I am  
Now's your chance  
Beg for me  
I won't crush you  
Go steady   
We don't need to fight  
For this  
I think we can do it  
When everyone else blew it  
If you want to, lets do it

I feel the sting  
The pricking of a needle  
I feel the sting  
The seeds are now settled  
Close your eyes  
Does it sound similar  
Close your eyes  
Does it sound similar 

Close your eyes  
Does it sound similar  
Close your eyes  
Does it sound similar


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ambidextrous"

One hand around my hips  
The other around my head   
I got one foot in my mouth  
And my mind never left the bed  
Handed me your heavy heart  
Telling me you have my trust  
Well to be honest  
You can only trust me so much

You got me questioning my morals  
I will be sticking with my label  
Sorry to be so senseless  
But I can't love you ambidextrous 

Fear to my left  
Fear to my right  
I'm a milquetoast succulent   
You're an angel with terrible taste   
A big wonderful waste   
I need to feel you   
But not in the way you want me to

You got me questioning my morals  
I will be sticking with my label  
Sorry to be so senseless  
But I can't love you ambidextrous

You got me questioning my morals  
(Fear to my left)  
I will be sticking with my label  
(Fear to my right)  
Sorry to be so senseless  
(Fear in the middle)  
But I can't love you ambidextrous


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Incognito Mode"

I think I locked myself   
In my room by mistake  
Just kidding,   
but still you say I'm irate  
If only you heard   
The things I say about you  
On the phone  
With complete stranger  
Since I know no one  
When I'm not watching   
Lesbian porn in incognito mode   
I'm talking shit about you  
On the phone

Fuck your jokes  
They're so tired, Imma sleep  
Fuck you for provoking  
Me when I'm weak  
Why didn't you help   
Me growing up  
You stunted my growth  
Worse than cigarette smoke

No but imagine if I meant that?  
Oh shit, did you hear that  
Sorry baby I'm big fool  
spoke out of anger   
Forget about it and tell me it's cool  
Won't say it again   
until you leave the room

So fuck your jokes  
They're so overblown  
Imma spill my feeling in incognito mode  
Why are these voices   
so much smarter than you  
And yet I hate them   
just as much as you


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You Scarred Us"

You...  
You scarred   
You scarred us  
You, you scarred us  
You scarred us for life  
You scarred us tonight  
You scarred us to the afterlife  
Are you satisfied?

Give an inch and he took a mile  
What's that sound?  
Stop  
Just stop  
Give an inch and he took a mile  
Always under fire

You...  
Do you  
Do you like this?  
Set off your bomb  
Took us off guard   
Took yourself along  
Barely a loss

Give an inch and he took a mile  
Seems inevitable   
Enough  
Just enough  
Give an inch and he took a mile  
Protect our family  
Mahaps 

(Baby come light me   
Baby come light me up...)


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Drunk"

I don't know what  
You were expecting  
But I'm happy so  
I guess I can't complain  
And by the looks of it  
You feel the same

I want  
This to last  
I want you  
To meet me halfway  
Stuck in twilight mode  
Can't steal something   
that you sold 

Gave it to you sober  
I'll give it to you drunk too  
Gave it to you sober  
I'll give it to you drunk too  
you're happy so I guess   
You can't really complain   
Even though you won't be  
Too happy the next day

I want  
This to last  
I want you  
To meet me halfway  
Stuck in twilight mode  
Can't steal something   
that you sold

I'm sad it's over  
Don't you worry, you  
Never looked better  
Never had looked better


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Over It"

Go home  
Where are you?  
There's no where else to go  
I don't belong anywhere else

Don't remind me  
Don't remind me

I'm so over it  
I'm so over it  
I'm so over it   
I'm so over it

It's over, over, over  
There's no where else to go


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jealous"

I'm jealous  
I'm so rarely in control  
Jealous  
I'm jealous  
Because I'm rarely this in love

You know why I'm here  
Fuck your pride, fuck your fear  
You woke me up  
And I'm staying here  
Do you even want to be here?  
The thought of it  
made you shed a tear  
You'd be laying down  
Staring like,  
"I just met you  
And this is crazy  
But look at me back  
I'm one of them,  
But no one knows"

Yeah, you're one of them  
But no one knows

I'm jealous  
I'm so rarely in control  
Jealous  
Bet it stings  
I'm so rarely in control  
I'm jealous  
Because I'm rarely this in love

No, you're nothing like me  
You're not like me  
You can never be mine  
And I'm so jealous...  
Things are always out of my control


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little Girl

Go little girl  
Just leave me behind  
Go little girl  
I won't be beside you  
Go little girl  
Take my power in your hands  
Now go little girl  
I can't fit through the door  
But you can 

This house is a cruel place  
Please don't envy my pain  
As you get older, you lose strength   
So hurry now   
and blast down the lane  
All the way to the end

Hey little girl  
Not everybody will understand  
But I do  
Hey little girl  
They might not love you   
But I do  
Hey little girl  
Don't become like me  
Now go, little girl  
Live your life as you please

This house is a cruel place  
So go and climb the gate  
This world is a cruel place  
So hurry now   
and blast down the lane  
All the way to the end


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Runs in the Community"

Hundreds of letters  
You're all corny as hell  
Politics with a smile  
Before you ask  
Screw the trolls too  
This isn't about you  
I used to feel found  
Now I feel left out  
Do you know how hard it is  
To get with it when  
You all look like that?  
And all act like that?  
It's even harder when  
I don't even know what  
All these letters stand for

Oh, I  
Beat myself  
In my head  
Over this  
It's alright though  
And I'm  
Being accused  
It's overused  
All by you  
It's alright though  
It's alright

There are worst things than being exclusive  
Like being intrusive  
Being so elusive  
But begging for attention  
When I want less of it  
Saying that I'm privileged  
Every problem you have  
I have a porn category of it  
Saying that clubbing is disgusting  
But then turning around  
Saying you were around  
When it went down  


Oh, I  
Beat myself  
In my head  
Over this  
It's alright though  
And I'm  
Being accused  
It's overused  
All by you  
It's alright though  
It's alright

Seems like all I was good at  
I'm no longer good at now  
It's over now  
I can't progress  
You're blocking the way  
Seems like all I had  
It's over now  
I can't move on  
You're blocking the way  
I turn away and leave without a sound

It's alright  
It's alright  
It's alright  
It's alright though


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Red Car"

I put up Polaroids in a straight line  
All across the faint line  
Took pictures before the reconstruction   
They'll last long after the destruction  
When I forget the places  
That were replaced  
They'll be in my face  
I draw a heart on your red car  
Didn't know it would come this far  
Clinging tightly to our first car  
Now we're stuck in this salt jar  
One day, no repression  
In this twisted dimension   
I believe you'll free me  
But after, you'll leave me

I'm dying to be where you are  
Stuck around, but you were not around  
Took a walk far away to another world  
But came back, picked me up   
And drove me home

Saw your red car when I got so lost  
Didn't want to leave,   
but that was my loss  
Fell down and pretend my leg broke  
So you'd leave me on the road  
I hope you wouldn't make me go home  
Because after, you'd go back to roam  
And I'll be even more alone  
We're in different dimension   
And it's depressing  
You might free me  
But after, you won't see me

I'm dying to be where you are  
Stuck around, but you were not around  
Took a walk far away to another world  
But came back, picked me up   
And drove me home


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Story of Somerset"

Go, go  
I know  
What happens when  
You don't 

So we bought our house and  
Walked through the door  
I already didn't feel like staying  
anymore

Fly me home, please  
I don't want to go with them  
You'd say, "stop your whining"

Dressed all in gray  
Gave us gift and we didn't have to pay  
Thought it was about to be my day

Fly me home, please  
I'm not a ghost, please  
She says smiling,  
"maybe not now, but wait and see"

Go, go

Don't know

Why you're letting me go under

Go, go


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Ugly Truth"

Don't you  
Turn your back  
On me  
I get blamed for everything   
It would be sublime  
To let me - at least one time  
But that's just me,  
I'll be here   
Trying not to whine  
I wish I  
Were a real girl  
Then I can cry  
Guess I'm not a real girl

My love's like yours  
Said it's not  
Denied the truth  
Look in the mirror  
I'm an ugly truth  
Give me strength  
It's not going away  
Just as sad as you  
Not as bad as you  
You're killing me  
I'm an ugly truth  
Hold me, I deserve love too

You won't go to hell  
If you let me be myself  
Hell sounds much better than  
Where-ever the hell you put me  
I miss the kiss of freedom   
And the dreams I planned  
I'm not a real girl  
Can't even cry  
Guess I am a real girl, after all   
Because it's what I did all this time

My love's like yours  
Said it's not  
Denied the truth  
Look in the mirror  
I'm an ugly truth  
Give me strength  
It's not going away  
Just as sad as you  
Though not as bad as you  
You're killing me  
I'm an ugly truth  
Hold me, I deserve love too

My love's like yours  
Incompatible  
Unfair  
It's heretical  
Hold me  
I've been alone for some time  
Hold me, ah  
Before I completely lose my mind  
Hold me, don't hold me, hold me  
Don't hold me  
Hold me  
No, no, no


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Salem"

At last   
I'm drafted for war  
To fight evil  
that doesn't exist   
The world is on fire  
But I'm just fine   
Unlike the demons  
Of mortal disguise

I'm told   
she'll take my soul to sell  
It's known, she came from hell  
Her heart is black   
And yours will be too  
Once you let her seduce you

 

Love the sin  
But hate the sinners  
Those who calls them family  
Are the true winners

 

Temptation hits  
But never kills  
Am I blind or strong willed?  
She'll take my soul to sell  
I know, for sure, she came from hell  
Her heart is black  
She doesn't bleed  
Much like the sinners  
of degeneracy 

I look into the witch hunter's eyes  
They look a lot like mine  
Hiding behind his mortal disguise   
and wants to kill off his own kind

 

Love the sin  
But hate the sinners  
Those who calls them family  
Which you refuse to  
My sinner


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So Jealous"

Shadows slowly going away  
In the sun  
Flashlight searching everyday  
Run, girl, run  
You're so jealous  
and I know why  
Some engage  
Others lie

 

Go ahead, I know you're the same  
Prove how much better  
you are than us  
Compensate for the shame  
In your virgin heart  
Don't fall behind  
It's all inside your mind

When you decide to tell the world  
It'll be fine  
Withhold ruthless irony  
Let it die  
You're so jealous  
You don't even try  
Take it out on me  
One more time

Go ahead, though you're the same  
Prove how much better  
you are than us  
Compensate for the shame  
In your virgin heart  
Don't fall behind  
It's all inside your mind


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Not At Peace"

You're the Devil's backbone  
A thorn in my side  
I'll eat your guts  
I'll slash your eyes   
I'll kick your dick  
I'll sink my ship   
To get your sorry behind  
The Devil's backbone   
Can't be exorcized   
You flipped my lid   
You took my skin   
for your disguise   
But is it alright?  
Sank my ship  
Ate my shit  
Broke my hip  
Just to fuck my mind  
But I'm alive 

It won't happen  
Yeah, I know how you are   
Well it's too late   
So don't even think about   
coming along my way  
I have no heart to break   
How you tried to duel me  
Did it turn out alright?  
'Cause I'm still not at peace  
Yeah, so don't ever come by  
Stay on your own side  
'Cause I'm still not at peace  
And I'm alive tonight

I'll eat your guts  
I'll slash your eyes   
I'm alive tonight   
I'm gonna have a ball  
I'll bust your balls  
I'll break your walls   
Make them fall  
If you we ever meet  
I know what you're like  
You'll steal my heart  
Make it your own  
And take it home  
Just let me be

It won't happen  
Yeah, I know how you are   
Well it's too late   
So don't even think about   
coming along my way  
I have no heart to break   
How you tried to duel me  
Did it turn out alright?  
'Cause I'm still not at peace  
Yeah, so don't ever come by  
Stay on your own side  
'Cause I'm still not at peace  
And I'm alive tonight

You're out of ammo, kid  
Just keep firing  
It'll be alright,  
With all your might  
'Cause I won't fight

Don't ever come by  
Don't even look me in the eyes  
Stay on your side  
Of the great wide globe  
'Cause I'm still not at peace


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Problematic Fave"

Problematic  
Problematic  
Sad and tragic  
But still my favorite  
Favorite  
What's the difference  
Is it really such a crime  
To speak your mind  
Problematic  
Problematic   
Your life is on display  
And they turn on you  
Just like magic  
Magic  
But that's fine  
Cause who's living the life?  
Sometimes you're nice  
I know  
Other times you're on thin ice   
That's true but I don't really care  
Do not care  
If not you, it's Tom  
If not Tom, it's Jane  
If not Jane, it's Bartholomew  
If not Bartholomew, it's Jermaine   
But my problematic fave is  
Really not so bad

Sometimes you're alright  
I know  
Other times you're giving strife   
Maybe true but I don't really care  
Cause it's not fair  
If not you, it's Lisa  
If not Lisa, it's Blake   
If not Blake, it's Tiffany  
If not Tiffany, it's Drake  
But my problematic fave is  
Really not so bad  
They're charismatic   
And dramatic  
And pragmatic  
And...  
Against what's traumatic?  
Screw it  
I love my  
Problematic  
Favorite  
All I am saying is  
Give them another chance  
Problematic  
Favorite  
They deserve at least   
One more chance


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Girl, Blue Girl (part 1)

Red girl, blue girl  
How much longer will it take?  
Why all the sudden dismay?  
Somedays I just want to shred it  
Measure it - so small,  
why complain?  
Not small enough for me  
It doesn't fit, it's not meant to be  
Everywhere I go  
You're on my back  
I tell you secrets  
And you tell me stories  
Like how you'll die someday  
How you'll be married someday  
Does that cross your mind?  
Why? It just won't be the same  
Does anyone know yet?  
I'll deny everything  
Tell me how proud I should be  
But if it's supposed to be my party  
Why am I crying?  
When I'm with you  
I feel so confused  
Because you're in love  
And I'm in pieces 

Blue girl?  
Red girl?  
why are you always trying to leave?  
It doesn't fit, it's not meant to be  
Can't you see, no one can shred it  
Measure it, too small to complain  
I shrunk it, now I don't feel the pain  
You can get married someday  
Admit that you love them  
It wouldn't work out anyway  
Will you tell someone your dreams?  
Why? They'll just deny everything  
Tell me how proud I should be  
But if it's supposed to be my party  
Why am I crying?  
When I'm with you  
I feel so confused  
Because you're in love  
And I'm in pieces


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue Girl, Red Girl (Part 2)

Blue girl, red girl  
(Red girl? Blue girl?)  
Blue girl, red girl  
(Red girl? Blue girl?)  


Everywhere I go  
You're always on my back  
(Always with me)  
You go incognito mode  
And I clear my history  
At night  
You watch me sleep  
Like an incubus  
(You never look at me  
when we touch)  
Dont tell me  
you're proud of me  
Don't tell me  
there's nothing  
wrong with me  
You're just as bad  
As everyone else  
(Please, baby  
Oh, it hurts)  
I don't care  
Stop telling me  
Don't tell me  
I wanted to be  
Because you're wrong  
You're always wrong  
(I'm doing everything  
I can for you)  
Nobody asked you to  
(I know what you need to do)  
If that's the case,  
I refuse  
I'm not missing anything  
I'm not being contrary  
It's hard enough already  
Stop your meddling  
Let me live in celibacy  
I'll never be ready  
So leave already

Blue girl, red girl  
(Red girl? Blue girl?)  
Blue girl, red girl  
(Red girl? Blue girl?)  



End file.
